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If you are looking for ideas, or want to find out more, visit our fundraising page.

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Not that there is anything particularly wrong with Norwegian fish.

The issue is really one of freshness, given how many days it takes to transport the salmon to the UK before any processing starts.

Such considerable differences in texture and flavour of the smoked salmons we buy are the direct result of the differences in their provenance and process. The real thing doesn't come cheap – up to £5 per 100g, compared with as little as £1.50 for a basic version – but as an occasional luxury, it's well worth shelling out for. Enjoying the real deal a few times a year is surely better for the soul than eating the over-salted, orange-hued stuff every week.

We've found that milfs are the "one that you want" recently.

Shortly followed by grannies, coming up the rear (ooh that's a bit rude!

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